What I wish you knew

Dear students..

I've been a teacher for 5 years.
In my line of work, I see hundreds of faces everyday
You'ld come and go with the fastest of speed
Although I so badly want to, me with my limitations,
I can hardly match your face with this attendance list correctly every time.
Heart wrenching to admit
On bad days
You are just a sea of faces to me.

Yet lately,
When I look at that sea of faces with my eyes..
My heart saw something else.

In each of that nameless face
The loud seemingly ignorant student
The messy serabut face
The couldn't care less front
The sad braving eyes
Just like the one next to it
And a hundred more
In all of that

I saw
a person so fiercely loved
Each one
a someone so precious to another
once a hopeless three months old,
too dearly loved and cared for
grew up with a  million caress and hopes and wish

A someone,
who bring so much joy to the people who sacrificed so much for him
Each one of them.

A someone I can never do justice.

I hope you realize that.
That unconditional devoted love you bear inside of you.
I hope you always remember that.

And may that thought remain with me
Each time I rest my eyes upon you.

P/S: Being melancholy as I usually am at the end of every semester

Kakak Speaks #2

Kakak talks all the time.
That's what everyone left with her for a whole day would say. 
Although at times painful to the ears, just like what any mother would say of their child,  she is filled with sweetness that simply melts my heart.

When I scold her, she'll give a not-so-loud scream "Waaaa..." followed by a face that kononnya ask for pity but with a sheepish/cheeky smile she could not hide, she'd say "Maaf Ummi.. kakak tak buat lajii.." (I teach her to say maaf instead of sorry isn't it sweet ;p) Yeah, sometimes I'll hear that 5 times in one morning.

When she happen to take hold of some money she'll show it to me and say "Nanti kakak beli hadiah untuk Ummi, okay."
Never occurs to her to buy what she wants. Children. With their big eyes and big hearts.

A funny moment:

Once Abi was telling her about the punishment for telling lies, which is having your tongues cut. (I'm not actually sure about the authenticity of this hadith though).
In earnest, her eyes wide, she nods her head and say..

"Hm, kena potong macam lembu, kan" (referring to the qurban she had witnessed this year)

and then, ever so seriously,

"Kena potong macam roti cheese."
referring to her usual breakfast of cheese on toast cut into small pieces.

Big Bad Wolf Loot

It's crazy not to go crazy at the Big Bad Wolf book sale.

I wouldn't be surprised if anyone actually shed happy tears at the first sight of the hall. My heart was thumping so hard and I was super stressed my eyes could take so little in at a time, hihi!

Never mind if you are not a bookworm, your heart would weep at the sight of the price tags.
I mean, come onnn, hard cover children story books at RM 8?
As they claim it's 75-95% on all books and there are 3 million of books!

On the first visit I was stressfully begging for the children books tables to end, I couldn't bear to miss a table and the books were too many. Nerve-wrecking I tell you!

The priority was the children books. I had not known the insanity of it (somehow this is actually my first BBW). After two trips that's the only part I can say I'm satisfied with. Yang lain sempat brisk-walk je.

Some of books I went cuckoo over.

Hard cover children books:

Soft cover, Kakak's favourite in order (so far):

Story books with activities:

Children loves touch and feel books as it helps with the imagination
Kakak can count and tell me the number using this book!
Counting activity too but this is for 1 yr plus
Jigsaw puzzle fun
The last activity book is fun. You can take out some of the parts and put it back again like a jigsaw puzzle. Its fun, tapi kena buat dengan dia else you'll have a 'fun' time arranging it back by yourself. You have to search for this book outside after the cashier counter.

Anybody bought the same book as I did? :D

And so the' 'book marathon' begins. 
Its super tiring. Kakak will bring the book to me one by one. Habis bacakan satu, she would trot to the bookshelf and exclaim "nak baca yang maana pulak?!" and bring one after the other.
After reading 10 books I will gladly give her the story books with activities for her to play on her own pulak. Penatnya! When reading kan kene buat suara super excited, barulah can attract their attention. And everytime baca the interesting part is you can play around with the stories coz of course we don't use their text as it is, just the pics.

From my loot, the books with the best storyline, ever so fun to read with your child would be Where Are You Blue Kangaroo (RM 10, beautiful pics), Mr. Wrinkle (RM 10), Little Lost Lamb (RM 6), Snip Snap Croc (RM 6), The Long Journey Home (RM 6), Where's My Teddy (RM 6).

Oh yeah, the books I managed to grab for myself. It's nothing much due to the lack of time, but it'll do. I used to be so obsessed over novels. Now, I hate having that nagging feeling of 'Don't you have better things to do than reading fiction, make-up stories??'. Pffft. Can't I be allowed to have just ONE guilty pleasure? :( But now I'm kinda glad I have one reason to read:  my english is getting worse.. err.. worst. see?

So, for those who haven't go, please gooo!
The children books are so worth it, most of them are RM6 and RM8, very little are at its most expensive of RM 10. And the stories are really fun; catchy, funny, with beautiful sharp images. I know that because Kakak's eyes widen in fascination at every page. We know how important it is to inculcate the habit of reading from young. With all the mesmerizing technology we have nowadays, one day you might find out it's already too late to start. But lets not forget, children learns best from what they see. Are we making reading a habit too?!

Its still open till Dec 23rd, at The Mines!

Fun Activities #1

We bought this recently at a Popular book store. Thanks to a friend who wanted to share, its a buy one free one offer at RM59.90.

Easy Origami : Book & Kit

A bit pricey lah for a guide book of origami for 12 items. But knowing how she loves to lipat-lipat (and it was on sale!) I was only to happy to sacrifice some money for a few hours of good bonding time with dear daughter hihi.

Suprisingly the book has really good clear instructions. I always thought origami isn't very easy to do and you need to be good with your hands.
I was surprised I managed to do most of it, after a few moments of pening-pening. Considering I was never good at figuring illustrated instructions (on IKEA stuff).
Some of the animals 'we' have done:

Elephant, Girrafe, Frog
So the girrafe looks more like a dinosaur.
She was running happily back and forth to show her animals to Abi.

I think it's good to expose kids to Arts and Craft. I remember reading there's that link between creativity and ability to think.

Sisters #1

Toddlers are wonderful imitators.
Which means we have to be so very careful of our every action and words nowadays.

On another note, Kakak's reaction to being a big sister is such a delight to observe so far. She loves to give her hand to Safa as the baby is at that stage of pulling everything she can grip towards her mouth. Whenever we make her botol susu she would go and lie right next to Safa and hold her hand until she fell asleep. 
There's no stopping her from kissing, slobbering, crowding on Safa. That seems to be her favourite activity. When we give her chocs she would go to her sis and munch on it while looking at Safa.

Not even when Kakak got sick recently and I scolded her every time she gets near. It's no wonder both of them got sick. I would say that's the only instruction so far she can never obey. Macam tak hiraukan lansung. 
Sometimes she'd even say "Ni kan kakak dia".

Ohh undeniably Kakak feels jealous. Thats humane. Whenever we 'talk' to Safa, play and smile at her little sister, a glance towards her will show a sad pitiful face. The unsure look. The doesn't people love me eyes. So sad to look at! Immediately I would shower her with praises and love words, hugs and kisses. And she would follow suit and do the exact to her little sister.

Of course too many a time, it frustrates me to no end when she pounce on her sis and take her hand when Safa is just about to sleep.
Or is sleeping -__-
And I would scold her. And her mouth will curve downwards and her eyes will be automatically red. Pandai dah turn on the tap water nowadays!

Anyway, on days when I am 'sound'..
Often in our 'conversation' with her little sis with her present, we will praise Kakak and say how much she should be good like her big sister. Okaylah sementara Safa tak faham lagi, else it'll be too much to bear hihi. For now it's good for Kakak's confidence, her self image (got it from Prof Rozieta's book, will share it soon!)

But I actually avoid having mushy-mushy conversation with the baby when Kakak is around. Or while doing so my hand would be stroking Kakak. Sampai macam tu sekali  tak sampai hati.  I read somewhere that even though we'll tend to protect the younger sibling more, it's actually children who can already think and feel whom we have to support and show love more. We are adults, pandai-pandai lah cover.

Heard from her this morning:

"Ummi, Safa cry nak kakak. Dia nak main dengan kakak dia." 

After a few seconds, in the disbelieving tone adults always use, she herself said..

"Hm yelaaaah.."

I must have said that to her the last time she said that to me.

Must be careful what I say in the future.
Avoid any negativity!

The sweetheart at three months

Homeschooling Idea#2 : Activity Book

I had been looking for some free time to download and print some activities for Kakak, but time had not permit.

So imagine my delight when I found this at an unlikely shop. Most activity books are still unsuitable for Kakak, since most preschool activity books are only with writing ABC and coloring exercises. I was looking for cut and paste activities involving identifying colours or shapes. When I found this..

I think the publisher is Early Skills K, and the series is Home Workbooks.
Priced at only RM3.90.
It has these kind of activities, with a set of stickers..

The usual shape identifying exercise

..it came with a set of stickers in the middle

But we don't do the usual activity..

The usual activity would be colouring the shape similar to the first shape kan? But knowing the focus of a two-year-old, instead of colouring, I asked her to paste the given stickers on pictures of the same shape instead! She even has to choose the same sticker for the same objects. She loves it!
It's so fascinating to me to see how she can now think for herself, dah boleh beza kan shapes.. so pandaii :') something only a mom will experience hihi.

The first book : Same & Different

The second book : Kindergarten Activities

She really enjoyed choosing the same stickers to match the objects. But of course we have to do the activity with her.

Her very own corner. We don't have an extra room hence a corner will do.

Ummi's dream kindergarten. Hihi!

But seriously, it's good for her to have her own space. We get to teach her to take care of her own stuff and how she must always keep it clean and tidy. Since she always ajuk what I say, I teach her to say, "Cantiknya rumah kakak!" and "Ei sepahnya rumah kakak!" so she always try to keep it neat.

Of course, more often than not, I'd be the one initiating the clean up. Some fine days, I'd be the only one doing the clean up. But it's fine, really. The repetition of seeing us clean up after her space will be drummed into her subconscious mind. The subconscious mind doesn't think, it only obeys i.e. habits. Aha, this deserve an entry on its own : How the mind works. One day, she'll automatically clean up on her own without being asked. Simply because she sees us doing it all the time. Believe me, it works! I have a friend who declares her daughters at the age of 4-6 years cleans up after playing each time without being told. I don't think that is genetic! (some people claim everything is genetic)

So where did I buy these books? I'm sure you have seen this shop before.. you can find it in a lot of malls!

Mr. D.I.Y! Loads of children activities stuff here at super cheap prices!
Here are the branches..
Note: We went to the one in Taiping. Hopefully you can find the books at its other branches as well. 

Kakak Speaks #1

At 2 years 5 months, her words very often amuse me. As tiring and exasperating it is especially when handling both Kakak and Safa alone (how does a mother of two does it!), she often made my heart melt at the most temperature rising moments. Yesterday for instance..

I was feeding Safa on the bed when she came with her Sayang Semuanya series book, asking me to read it to her as usual. "Nak yang ada patung.." she said, referring to the Saya sayang Nabi Muhammad book, where it shows people prostrating over patung. Tired, I shooed her away saying "Ummi nak tidurkan Safa!" Relentlessly, she climbed onto the bed with much difficulty with the book in her hand. 

"Ummi bacalah untuk Kakak.."

"No kakak, Safa nak tidur ni.."

Muka tearing up. And then..

"Pleaaasee Ummi pleaseeee, kakak soraaanng.."  T_T

"Okay okay, meh sini Ummi bacakan."

Smile. Baring sebelah Ummi.
"Ummi marah nanti kakak masuk neraka ke..."

*Please Ummi pleasee dengan muka nangis yang paling tak tahan tu. She likes to say that now. Tak tahulah dia tiru siapa. And her favourite whine is currently "kakak soraang.." usually when she sees me cuddling up with Safa.

The Sayang Semuanya series is really great in introducing concept of syurga neraka, berbuat baik, siapa Nabi Muhammad, loads more. And so far Kakak ask me to read it to her at least 3 times a day, one after the other. Highly recommended! 

Books For Toddler

An update from last post: 

It finally came to my realization today that the kids islamic books we see often nowadays (like the one I mentioned in my last post : 31 kisah nabi, kisah haiwan dalam al-quran), are not really suitable for toddlers 2-and-a-half years old. Maybe its just me, but it's difficult to get toddlers that age to focus on the story when the wordings are like, 'pagi itu angin bertiup lembut'. And the illustrations are 'too  pretty', i.e. not bold enough.

A visit to MPH today with a wish to get the books for Kakak were initially met with disappointment, as I knew straight away upon browsing the kids islamic book section that the books still too early for her. (Sebab nya dah pernah beli satu and its tiring coz I have to shorten and create my own words)

Alhamdulillah among all the books, I finally met one that stands out from the rest. The wording are simple just like the ones you'd see in english toddler books. Not more than a string of 4 words in a sentence, 2 sentence per page. And the best part is, I love the wordings. Very tarbiyatul aulad! ^^

A bit pricey though, at the price of RM 50, but its a set of 6 books.
Already tried it with kakak and she likes it I can tell, I have a feeling I can use it for a long time. I can take a picture of the insides as well if anyone is interested. You'll love the content. You can browse it at MPH bookshops or if you wish to buy it online you can do so here, postage free!

I also bought Kakak her first pencilbox and some stationaries. Crayon, colour pencil, water colour semua dah beli *guilty. Kalau boleh dengan table proper tu pun nak beli (seriously tak sabar!) but will make do with meja jepun ni dulu as its easier really, for me to join her activity.

Activity book couldn't find one with cut and paste activity, and so I'll try to print on my own first.. nanti nak cari yang best-best.

Real happy manage to do 'homeschooling' with her tonight, we even did origami (Ummi bantai je). She keep saying,'Ummi beli untuk kakak sebab Ummi sayang kakak ke. Ummi main dengan kakak sebab Ummi sayang kakak?' Nampak sangat dah lama tak teman dia 'main'.

So easy to make this kid happy!
See our origami?
Not sure yet of the usage of whiteboard at her age, she just loves to draw circles
Membaca dan mewarna bought by 'Ibu', our beloved BS
I also bought a Prof Rozieta Shaari book, the english version of Membina Anak Cemerlang, as the malay version is sold out. Will share it if it's a must-have!

Homeschooling Ideas

Guilt is a constant emotion all parents have. Especially moms, most especially working moms T_T

Every time the thought of Kakak is now at 2 years 5 months comes to mind (almost every day that is), I would feel an enormous wave of guilt. She's at the age where she's learning most rapidly, absorbing things like a sponge and all I am doing for her is leaving  her at other people's house (albeit in the best company of people who loves her), watching cartoons mostly, I think. Lost in everyday routine of pergi balik kerja, at nights too tired for a good activity, and weekends of sharing her with others, I've never feel more like a failure than for this.
But with all the positive thinking I have, I remind myself that what's important is the quality of time, not the quantity.
With a proper planning, we can make the best of time, and make our presence felt even though we are not around her 24 hours a day.
After some searching around for materials, these two being the sifu for children's education (the best guides!) - so many DIY fun activities its amazing.

These are the plans I have come up with:

1. Buy activity books, which involves cut and paste, colouring, identifying alphabets. But here at http://wwwmamahomeschool.blogspot.com there's so many links to download the activity sheets and print! And compile everything in a ring file as Kakak's Activity File.

2. For storytelling, these three books

3. Kakak loves origami! I got to learn em to teach her

4. Fun alphabet games on internet (drpd buka youtube)

5. Arab cartoons to download from internet and pasang kat TV

6. Watercolor - instead of using brush like we usually do, use potato carved into shapes and cop

Do hop over to the these two webs for amazing ideas to be shared with your lil ones. Plus your child would think you're the most brilliant fun adult ever lived! hihi.
If anything, it makes me less guilty about not being with my children 24/7.
Its amazing really how so little effort on our part can give so much pleasure to our child. As we know any games we play with them are the ones they enjoy the most :')

Note to self : Must make sure Airin gets a good sleep at BS every morning so that I can have a good one hour with her every night. No more lights off with botol susu at 8.30 pm!

6 Kekuatan Yang Perlu Ada Pada Ibu-bapa/ Pendidik Untuk Mendidik Akhlak Anak-Anak

1- Kekuatan ILMU: Kekuatan Ilmu pada ibu-bapa paling penting kerana ibu-bapa perlu mendidik dan membimbing dengan ilmu pengetahuan. Kesempurnaan IMAN adalah AKHLAK. Orang yang dekat dengan Rasulullah SAW di akhirat kelak adalah orang-orang yang punya AKHLAK terbaik.. Subhanallah..

2- Kekuatan latihan dan kebiasaan untuk bersifat tawadduk dan Qanaah / penguatkuasaan : Iaitu dengan membiasakan diri dengan sunnah Rasulullah SAW contohnya berwuduk sebelum tidur, solat witir sebelum tidur, solat dhuha, menggosok gigi pada setiap waktu solat ketika berwuduk dan lain-lain...  Tapi hari ini dah tak macam dulu, kita biasanya membiarkan anak-anak tidur lewat kerana menonton TV dan sebagainya.

Ustazah menceritakan tentang kisah Hassan Al-Banna dalam menunjukkan contoh tauladan tentang disiplin kepada anaknya.. "Suatu  hari Hassan Al-Banna berpesan kepada anaknya yang bernama Wafa' kalau saya tidak tersilap.. 'Wafa..Wafa.. Ayah nak tidur 7 minit saja, nanti selepas 7 minit tolong gerak ayah, ayah ada banyak kerja nak buat'.. Maka anaknya pun ke dapur untuk membuat air dan hanya setelah 10 minit baru dia teringat pesanan ayahnya.. Lalu cepat-cepat dia ke depan dan mendapati ayahnya sudah bangun dan meneruskan kerja-kerjanya.."... Subhanallah Moga Allah memberikan kekuatan kepada kita untuk menghayati sunnah Rasulullah SAW dan menjadi orang yang pertama mengamalkannya sebelum mengarahkan anak-anak kita untuk melakukannya...

3- Kekuatan Contoh Tauladan: Biarlah akhlak kita memberi nikmat kepada  orang lain.

4- Pengawasan/ Observation kepada anak-anak: Terutamanya terhadap akhlak anak-anak, kata Ustazah bagi anak-anak yang Sombong/ tidak belas kasihan/ suka bergaya, penawarnya suruh anak itu cuci tandas, cuci longkang...

5- Kekuatan Penghargaan: Pujian buat anak bersandarkan kepada Allah SWT.. Cthnya "Alhamdulillah  mak dapat anak yang soleh/solehah".

6- Tazkiyatun /Penyucian hati: Bila kita banyak  membenarkan anak-anak main game, maka ketika solat/ belajar, game itu akan terbayang-bayang.

Dalam kita marah-marahkan orang kafir kita sendiri  yang ambik produk (game, movie yang membuka aurat/bersifat kurafat dan syirik mereka dan rosakkan anak-anak kita..

Sad Do'a

"Ya Allah,
Janganlah Engkau biarkan anak-anakku rosak diatas sbb kesalahan-kesalahan dan kejahilanku.."

Pray this with all my might.

Tarbiyatul Aulad #3 :Tips

I came across some useful Tarbiyatul Aulad tips, can be used on Newborn until 6,7 yrs old, the earlier the better:

1. Repeat as if teaching them to say 'Allah', for newborn

2. While dressing up, eating, writing, playing, etc, teach them to say 
'makan kerana.. Allah', 'mandi kerana Allah', 'menulis kerana Allah'.. 
when they understand words, include reasons on why we say it as well

3. Sebelum tidur make it a practice to say:
Allah Maha Hebat
Alah Maha Kuat
Allah Maha Gagah
Semua yang kita buat hanya kerana Allah
Semoga dengan mengulang-ulang ayat ringkas ini sebelum tidur akan melahirkan rasa izzah, takut dan kagum terhadap Allah rabbul 'izzati

4. Teach daily do'a but children learn best thru action! You cannot expect them to practice it in the long term if you don't practice it.

Of Videos, Story Telling, and Zikir

Children Nasyeed
It has been a while since I get to share here. A lot has happened,  a lovely new baby to adore, still these days I feel like I am passing the days too ideally. I need this space to motivate myself.

Today I'd like to share some children videos. We've been trying to feed and 'program' kakak with the right entertainment, but it has not been that easy. Try to compare children nasyids, most of it Indonesian (good job nonetheless), with the english nursery rhymes:

..and you can see what I mean :) Starting the nasyids early and consistently though, the innocent minds of children still enjoy these plain old nasyid clips most of the time. Still, at times, as they learn to choose, its only fitrah they would request those 'cartoons' and 'iloveyou' songs. What with its bright colours and cheerful tunes. It always make me wonder when will our genius IT consultants create islamic children nasyids. I mean, with everything we have now, isn't it time?

Alhamdulillah and jazakallah to these people who came up with these Haiya Biddoa clips. Its a collection of Doa in every 1 minute clip, super cute and fun to watch! Such a sight for the sore eyes. They have it in Malay, English, even Arabic.

I love it! Kakak likes it alright. I download it at http://keepvid.com/ just by pasting the you tube link, copied it into a pendrive, stick it behind the TV's LCD, and ta-daa! I think we can get 7, 8 short clips from you tube.
Cumanya.. its actually an Apple app. To get further benefits it has to be downloaded to an iPad, which we don't have! So it's just a few You Tube clips for us for now. From the apps they actually have 40 clips altogether.

Buat masa sekarang, Aplikasi Haiya BidDoa boleh dimuat turun untuk
platform Android & Apple iOS sahaja.

Aplikasi Haiya BidDoa Apple iOS
Jika Sharifah menggunakan peranti Apple iOS iaitu iPhone 4,
iPhone 4s dan iPad, Sharifah boleh memuat turun aplikasi ini
secara terus dari Apple App Store. Aplikasi ini dibangunkan
sebagai aplikasi Universal iaitu ia boleh di muat turun ke peranti
iPhone & iPad secara terus. Jika Sharifah mempunyai lebih dari
satu peranti iaitu mempunyai iPhone & iPad, Sharifah boleh memuat
turun kedalam kedua-dua peranti dengan hanya sekali pembelian dari
Apple App Store.

My strong resolution to not have iPad and such (to avoid children addiction) is starting to waver? Naaah :)

Story Telling
Thanks to DH encouragement and request, I have taken to story telling whenever I want to 'cool' kakak down. DH says mothers should always bercerita, it stays in children memories long long after, leaving very fond memories, a bond of such. MIL is always story telling kakak, everytime she pakaikan her clothes and sikatkan her hair. I love listening to it too. It doesn't actually matter what she says, simply listening to her voice and loving tone leaves such a warm and calming feeling :) It was not easy for me, I would think I am a bit of berat mulut, if not for the times I think I'm talking to myself when I was actually talking to DH??
Anyhow, I created this Fatimah character and create stories each with moral values like sharing. She loves it and say, 'kakak macam fatimah kan, slalu share kan?' with the cutest asking smile (a very important lesson for someone with a sibling!) and always ask me to cerita fatimah. So yeah, I think its worth all the penat bercerita! 
When she gets restless abi would say, 'ok, Ummi cerita kat kakak ye', and I'd be groaning inwardly, buat muka kesian and say.. 'harini dah dua kali dah cerita fatimah..' Knew better, and immediately renew my azam!

Even though the hijriah is going on not as fast as we hope, fret not, what is important is living the islamic environment right? Much to my surprise, at the age of 2 years 4 months, I heard this from her as she plays alone..
'hasbi rabbi jallallah, 
mafiqalbi 'airullah,
nur muhammad sallallah'

She can say lailaha illallah, alhamdulillah.
Doa makan (2yrs), doa bangun tidur almost (2yrs 4mnths).
She loves zikir too, everytime pasang selawat she'll say, 'macam kat rumah ibu kan, macam kat masjid kan', and sing along. Request for it too sometimes.

I've been replaying surah al-Ikhlas as she plays in front of the tv, as children picks up/absorbs a lot unconciously, she has yet to remember it except for the last 'word' at the end of each ayat.
Update : At 2 years 5 months she can read Al-Ikhlas (except for the last sentence tak lancar), and doa bangun tidur. But mesti repetition! Kalau miss repeat for 3 days pun blh lupa back to square one. Sungguhlah anak-anak ni ajar kita istiqamah!

What's important is having these penenang hati sounds around us all the time. If listening to it calms our soul, it definitely calm theirs too. Soften the heart, less rasa nak marah-marah, hopefully. InsyaAllah. Wallahualam.

Tarbiyatul Aulad #2


This is more of a note to myself. 
Almost everyday, I would realize my lack of knowledge in so many things, which does not only cause me so many disadvantages :( but even worse, can cause irreversible damages later. Why is this so?!
As our children main source of knowledge (at least before they start schooling, and early years are vital in shaping understanding), we are suppose to equip them with the right understanding of what it means to be a muslim. Tarbiyatul aulad, this is.
It no longer means knowing what is fardhu ain and what is fardhu kifayah anymore. In my current very limited understanding, the difficult yet vital part is providing the essence to every act we are ordered upon. The 'why-s' yet at the same time obeying regardless of whether we know the why-s (as some are kept secret/unknowing).
In a world so full of confusion nowadays, it will not be as easy as providing PAFA books like we had in our chilhood days. God knows how confusing it was to us even then.
But yet some of us grew to be so understandingI believe it is hugely the tarbiyatul aulad they received, even at a time where people have not heard of the term tarbiyatul aulad. Everyone grows up with their own heartaches, but having that small amount of extra understanding protects teenagers from so  much of heartaches, and mistakes. And now it is our turn. To prepare and guard our beloved sweethearts from that confusion, heartache, mistakes, and pain.
And as I said, its irreversible. Once they reach a certain age, some things can no longer be shaped. And it makes things so difficult.

Having children at 2, 3 years old, there's still time. This is a space for me to collect THINGS I HAVE TO KNOW by the time my children reach mumayyiz age (being able to differentiate right from wrong).
Lets try our best, dear Ummi, mama, mummy.. to be that knowledge bearer.
And let's not forget, it IS our responsibility. Something we will be asked about in not a too distant future.

A part of my fav song.
Isteri cerdik yang solehah
Dia umpama tongkat si buta
Bila tiada satu kehilangan
Dia ibarat simpanan ilmu
Semoga kekal untuk diwariskan

:: Puasa ::
Sempena bulan Ramadhan ini, banyakkan bercerita tentang puasa, puasa yang berbeza mengikut agama, puasa nabi-nabi yang berlainan, fadhilat puasa dan ganjarannya, puasa dari segi sains, puasa dan manfaatnya pada tubuh, ibadat khusus dalam bulan puasa dan sebagainya. Niatkanlah untuk menambahkan ilmu mereka tentang puasa. Jangan kedekut ilmu pada anak sendiri. Apa yang kita tahu, kita simpan untuk diri sendiri. Untuk mereka, kita katakan puasa itu adalah waktu sahur, sahur, tahan lapar, tahan dahaga dan last sekali waktu buka.. buka puasa. Sayangnya jika tidak mengambil kesempatan ini.. 

Menanam Akidah Anak Part 1&2

Enjoying semester break now, I hope I manage to use some free time in a beneficial way. 

Here are excerpts of Akidah dalam Rumahtangga Muslim (Part 1&2). 
Of course, you need to listen to the talk to experience what I experienced as I wrote this down. Plus the fact that its taken from a conversation, some words might be repeating and not very smooth to be read. Bear with me ye!


Apakah itu Akidah? 

Dalam Surah Ibrahim ayat 24, Allah telah buat perumpaan yang sangat-sangat indah dan mudah untuk difahami perbandingannya.

Apakah kamu tidak melihat Allah mendatangkan sebuah perumpamaan bahawa kalimah yang baik itu umpama pokok yang sangat indah, di mana akarnya sangat teguh tertanam di muka bumi, adapun cabangnya terus naik sehingga ke langit. Pohon yang rendang ini sentiasa menurunkan /memberi buah-buahan hasil makanan dengan izin Allah dan Allah mendatangkan perumpamaan ini kepada manusia, mudah-mudahan manusia berfikir. Dan Allah mendatangkan perumpamaan kalimah yang jahat dan buruk itu sepertimana pokok yang sangat buruk malah tercabut akar-akarnya di permukaan bumi dan tidaklah ia berdiri teguh.

Kalimah yang dimaksudkan disini ialah kalimah tauhid,  ‘Lailahaillallah’, yakni akidah.
Kita seringkali menyebut kita ingin agar diri kita, anak-anak kita, menjadi orang yang menyumbang, berbuat baik, bermanfaat pada orang lain. Tapi apa sebenarnya yang menjadi akar yang paling teguh untuk menjadikan kita dan anak-anak kita sebagai manusia yang bermanfaat pada orang lain? Akar yang paling utama ialah akidah dalam hati kita. Sepertimana perumpamaan yang Allah beri, keteguhan akidah dalam hati anak-anak inilah yang akan menjadikan seorang anak itu bagaikan pohon rendang bermanfaat untuk orang lain, serta menurunkan buah-buahan yang yang manis untuk orang lain. Manakala kelemahan akidah tauhid seumpama pohon yang tidak berbuah, kalaupun berbuah memberi buah yang busuk, akarnya tercabut, itulah anak kita ditengah masyarakat. Dikala kita hilang sesuatu mana mungkin kita boleh memberi pada orang lain.

Menanam Akidah Sejak Kecil?

Tanamlah akidah sejak dari kecil lagi, kerana fitrah anak kecil masih murni, dan fitrah manusia adalah fitrah ketuhanan, fitrah mengaku Allah itu Tuhannya. Maka senang hendak ditanamkan akidah.
Namun menurut Imam al-Ghazali, menanam akidah ini perlu pada bentuk penghuraian dari al-Quran dan hadis, ia adalah pendekatan yang lebih baik dari kita fikir cara kita sendiri.

Contohnya di waktu hujan, atau di masa anak kita sedang dalam kesusahan, kita boleh menceritakan ayat Allah ini, Surah An-Naml ayat 59 onwards.

Bincang dengan anam-anak dalam bentuk pertanyaan. “Tengok anak-anak langit dan bumi, siapa yang buat ni? Siapa yang turunkan hujan, yang tumbuhkan pokok?” Pastinya anak-anak akan menjawab, “Allah..” Lalu kita bertanya lagi, “Ada orang lain/benda lain tak yang boleh turunkan hujan bila-bila masa, boleh tumbuhkan pokok, buat gunung ganang?” Sudah tentu mereka kata "Tidak..". Dan disinilah kita sambung, “Tapi, walaupun semua orang tahu Allah yang buat semua ini, Allah tumbuhkan pokok, Allah cipta segala-galanya, masih ramai yang ingkar pada Allah. Tak nak mengakui kebesaran, dan patuh tunduk pada suruhannya. Mudah-mudahan kita tak jadi orang macamtu.”
Kesimpulannya, tengok pada method mengajar dalam al-quran, antaranya bertanya dan menjawab.

Lima Perkara Dasar dalam Menanam Akidah Anak-anak Dari Kecil

Tarbiyyah akidah anak-anak adalah terbaik ditanam dari kecil. Ini adalah manhaj (manhaj menurut bahasa ertinya jalan yang jelas dan terang) Rasulullah dalam mendidik anak-anak.
Sekurang-kurangnya ada lima perkara dasar dalam menanam akidah anak-anak:
1. Menanam kalimah tauhid ‘lailahaillallah’
2. Menanam rasa cinta pada Allah, rasa diawasi olehNya, tempat meminta pertolongan, dan beriman pada ketentuan qadha dan qadarNya
3. Mencintai nabi dan keluarganya
4. Mengajar al-quran
5. Menanam akidah yang   kuat dan kesanggupan berkorban kerana akidah tersebut

Kaedah Mendidik Anak-anak Dengan Akidah Mengikut Cara Rasulullah

Point #1  (1) Beri hafalan/hafazan - sangat penting, antara fungsinya ialah latihan untuk mudah ingat. (2) Beri kefahaman ayat itu (3) Tanam keyakinan pada ayat itu.
 – kefahaman sebenar pada hafalan itu akan datang kemudian masa dia membesar. Yang penting ajar hafazan dahulu.

1. Tanam Kalimah Tauhid
Ajar Rasulullah saw pada anak-anak kaum Bani Hasyim, “Ajarkan kalimah ‘lailahaillallah’ sebagai kalimah pertama seawal pandai berbicara dan tentukan mereka menyebutnya ketika mati,”.

2. Hafalan ayat Quran/hadis Nabi
Suatu kisah yang sangat besar implikasinya dalam didikan anak-anak:
Rasulullah pernah mendatangi seorang budak kecil, Abdullah ibnu Abbas r.a. dan berkata “Wahai anak kecil, mari aku ajarkan kamu beberapa perkataan,
Ihfazillah Yahfazka
“Jagalah Allah, Allah akan menjagamu”
Maksudnya, “Kamu jagalah Allah, pelihara hak Allah, titah perintah Allah, Allah akan pelihara kamu sepanjang hidup kamu.”

Benar, bila kita mula berlonggar dengan arahan Allah, mula buat sedikit demi sedikit maksiat, lama-lama akan terbuka pintu maksiat yang lain, makin jauh dari Allah dan mengikut nafsu. Orang yang tidak sungguh-sungguh jaga hukum Allah, dia akan terlepas dari jagaan Allah (merosakkan diri sendiri)
Kebenaran amalan ini dirasakan sendiri oleh ustazah. Pernah suatu ketika, dalam perjalanan pulang dengan anak nya, dalam jam 2 petang, ustazah bimbang jalan mungkin agak jam lalu mengajak anaknya berhenti solat di R n R, namun anaknya berkata sempat ni solat dirumah. Selepas memujuk dan dalam keadaan tidak bersetuju ustazah bawa juga anaknya berhenti solat. Selepas solat mereka singgah di suatu kedai dan ketika anaknya melintas jalan berseorangan  ke keretanya dalam keadaan nak hujan ribut, anaknya nyaris-nyaris dilanggar lori. Sungguh-sungguh ustazah ingat anaknya dah dilanggar, tetapi tidak. Dalam keadaan pucat, anaknya masuk kereta dan berkata, “benarlah Ummi, Ihfazillah Yahfazka. Kita jaga hak Allah, solat, Allah pelihara kita.”
Subhanallah, kita sebagai ibubapa, hanya boleh mengajarkan dan suruh hafaz, makna nya kelak akan Allah ungkap sedikit demi sedikit.

3. Ajarkan Sirah Nabi
Ada suatu cerita oleh seorang ulama Abu Hasan An Nasai, cerita bagaimana dia sangat cinta membaca cerita, sirah-sirah nabi semasa kecilnya, di umur 9 tahun dia sudah terlalu ingin mendapatkan buku-buku sirah dan tidak puas membacanya, sehinggakan ibunya sanggup bergadai harta semata-mata untuk membelikannya buku sirah Nabi. Dan di usia sekecil itu sungguh selalu air matanya berderaian ketika dia membaca cerita Nabi, dan berasa seolah-olah dia berada bersama Rasulullah saw dan sahabat-sahabat baginda setiap kali membaca, dan begitulah dia membesar sehingga menjadi seorang ulama yang hebat. Melalui cerita-cerita sirah dan peribadi Nabi dia menjadi sangat cinta pada Nabi. Sudah pasti semua manusia juga begitu, atas rahmat mulianya peribadi Nabi. Namun kita sekarang, sudahkah kita tanam rasa cinta kepada Nabi pada anak-anak kita dengan menceritakan tentang nabi? Sungguh benar, tak kenal, maka tak cinta. Kita tidak akan dapat merasai kemanisan hubungan Nabi dengan kita, umatnya yang baginda Nabi amat cintai, selagimana kita tidak mendalami sirahnya dan ‘mengenalinya'. 
Sewaktu anak kita masih kecil ini, kita masih mempunyai masa untuk memulakannya. Mana mungkin kita dapat alirkan rasa kasih itu sekiranya kita sendiri tidak merasainya, kerana kita tidak cuba menghayatinya. Action plan : dapatkan satu buku sirah, dan luangkan sedikit masa setiap hari. Kalau satu hari 2 muka surat pun, dalam 2 tahun, by the time anak berumur 4/5 tahun, kita telah bersedia untuk mengisi mindanya dengan kisah-kisah mulia hidup Rasulullah saw, ahli keluarga dan sahabat baginda. Betapa beruntungnya kita dibandingkan dengan ibu-ibu yang sudah ada anak remaja yang sudah mula liat hatinya (seperti kita dahulu) kerana tidak di biasakan.

Lain-lain kisah

Sahabat Nabi Amru berkata kepada isterinya, “Janganlah kamu susukan anak seperti binatang yang menyusukan anak, yang didorong oleh rasa kasih pada anak-anak, akan tetapi, susuilah anak dengan mengharap pahala dari Allah dan agar dia hidup melalu penyusuanmu itu sebagai hamba yang mentauhidkan Allah dan menyembah Allah.”
Susukan dia dengan doa, niat, harapan bahawa hidupnya itu sentiasa untuk mengabdikan diri kepada Allah.
Sangat terasa dengan kata-kata ini!

Sabda Rasulullah, “Janganlah kamu angkat rotan terhadap keluargamu tapi tanamkanlah rasa takut kepada Allah pada diri mereka.”

Soal-jawab : Ibu senang hendak marah, bercakap kasar

Nabi telah menggariskan sifat-sifat yang perlu ada pada seorang pendidik (ibubapa/guru):
1. Tabah dan sabar
Sabda Nabi : “Sesungguhnya pada dirimu ada dua sifat yang amat disukai Allah yakni sabar dan tabah” (Imam Muslim)
2. Lemah lembut dan tidak kasar
Sabda Nabi: “Allah itu Maha Lembut dan suka terhadap kelembutan dalam segala urusan”
3. Hati yang Penyayang
4. Mengambil yang paling ringan dari dua hal selagimana hal itu tidak berdosa
5. Lunak dan flexible
6. Menjauhi sifat marah 
- ustazah berpendapat, jika kita mempunyai sifat marah, sebenarnya ada sesuatu pada persekitaran, tekanan tak menentu yang menyebabkan kita mudah naik darah. Ambil masa sekejap dari rutin harian untuk berfikir punca marah kita ini dan bagaimana penyelesaiannya.
Apabila kita marah, sebenarnya apa yang kita nak sampaikan pada anak itu tidak akan sampai. Psychology anak-anak memang macamtu. Jadi mesej kita tidak sampai. Bagaimana untuk tahu marah yang baik atau tidak? Marah yang tidak baik akan mendatangkan keluh-kesah pada kita, penyesalan yang kita sudah berlebihan dalam memarahi. Manakala marah yang baik, yang terkawal akan membuatkan kita rasa kita sudah tunaikan hak yang sepatutnya (tidak menyesal).

Latihan untuk kawal marah?
Ingatkan diri kita bahawa apa yang kita nak pada anak-anak tidak akan sampai bila kita marah. Kerana bila kita tidak boleh kawal diri sendiri (bila kita marah berlebihan kita akan kelihatan seperti orang yang tidak dapat mengawal diri) mana mungkin kita boleh kawal orang lain. Anak-anak yang lebih besar akan nampak kenyataan ini dan menyebabkan mereka hilang respect dan teguran/marah kita itu tidak akan terkesan. 
Sokongan pasangan dan juga anak-anak. Pesan pada suami  supaya tegur kita bila kita marah pada anak-anak. Begitu juga pesan pada anak-anak “Ummi sebenarnya tak suka marah-marah. Bila ummi marah, tolong ingatkan ummi ‘ummi, nabi kata la targhab, la targhab, la targhab (jangan marah)’


Buat ibu muda, ustazah berpesan. Imam al-Ghazali dalam kita Ulumuddin menceritakan bagaimana dia ketika kecilnya sering melihat ayah saudaranya bangun solat malam. Pada usianya 3 tahun, ayah saudaranya itu bertanya padanya, “macammana nak ingat Allah” lalu ayah saudaranya mengajarnya "setiap malam sebelum kamu  tidur kamu katalah begini, bukan kata dengan lidah, tetapi katalah dalam hati, “Allah bersamaku, Allah memperhatikanku, Allah menyaksikanku,” tiga kali sebelum tidur." Pada waktu ini imam al ghazali cuma 3 tahun! Dan seterusnya ayah saudaranya menyuruhnya mengulanginya 7x bila dia besar sedikit. Dan kata Imam Ghazali sehinggalah dia besar mengamalkan ini dan dia rasa kemanisan setiap kali dia mengatakannya sehinggalah dia mati.
Sebenarnya anak kecil amat gembira bila kita mengajarkannya sesuatu yang baru, dan akan bertanya-tanya lagi, “Allah bersamaku, Allah apa lagi ummi-?” Begitu seronok dan terujanya mereka. Apatah lagi bila kita sertakan dengan kata pujian dan sayang.
Salah kita sebenarnya kerana kita tidak memprogramkan anak-anak dengan manhaj Allah, sedang kita sudah tahu kesyumulan, betapa perfectnya, islam, dan bagaimana ianya tanggungjawab kita untuk membentuk mereka! Tinggal lagi.. kita perlu mencari ilmu mengenainya, istiqamah dan bersabar dengannya, dan doa yang tidak putus, kerana janganlah kita pudar sedikit pun keyakinan pada makbulnya doa seorang ibu.
..Ya Allah, permudahkanlah kami.

"...sangat sedikit mereka yang dapat melakukannya."

"Ketika turun ayat ‘walladzina yaknizuna… (orang yang menyimpan emas dan perak serta tidak menafkahkannya di jalan Allah), kami sedang bersama Rasulullah saw dalam suatu perjalanan. Lalu, sebagian dari sahabat berkata, “Ayat ini turun mengenai emas dan perak, sedangkan kami tiada memilikinya," Rasulullah saw kemudian bersabda,

“Mahukah kamu aku beritahu harta yang lebih berharga dari emas dan perak? Yang lebih berharga dari emas dan perak, ialah lidah yang berdzikir, hati yang bersyukur, dan isteri solehah yang akan membantu seorang mukmin memelihara keimanannya.” (riwayat Imam Tarmizi)

Kita, isteri, adalah harta simpanan terbaik seorang lelaki. Namun syaratnya.. isteri yang solehah.
Isteri solehah?

Sabda Rasulullah saw, “Harta simpanan terbaik seorang mukmin ialah isteri solehah. Mereka yang apabila kamu memandangnya kamu berasa gembira, apabila kamu menyuruhnya dia mentaati, dan diwaktu ketiadaanmu, dia memelihara maruah dirinya bahkan hartamu". (HR Nasa'i, Baihaqi, Ahmad dan al-Hakim)

"Takkan itu je, susah sangat ke nak taat pada suami?"
Bagi yang sudah berumah tangga, kita tahu ia bukan perkara yang mudah. Bilamana taat bererti mematuhi apa sahaja yang dikatakan suami selagimana ia makruf, sehinggakan sabda Nabi,

“Sekiranya aku boleh menyuruh seseorang sujud kepada seseorang manusia, nescaya aku akan suruh perempuan sujud kepada suaminya.” (riwayat Imam Tirmizi, hasan sahih, Ibnu Hibban, sahih)

Kenapa ya susah? 
Kerana suami juga manusia, punya tabiat, perasaan, karakter. Kita panas baran, suami lagi panas baran.. jadi, sama-samalah berperang. Suami ada pendapat, tapi kadang-kadangkan, pendapat kita lagi 'betul'? Memang bukan mudah nak taat pada suami, tetapi inilah yang Allah suruh.

Ustazah berikan satu petua : Taat pada suami jangan lihat pada siapa suami kita. Kita akan berkata "Ustazah, biar betul, nak kena buat air, nak kena layan dia semua, padahal, Ya Allah perangai dia, menyakitkan hati."
Tapi kita letak, taat pada suami bukan kerana batang tubuh suami tersebut. Suami kita itu seorang manusia, seorang hamba Allah, yang tidak sempurna, makin lama kahwin makin banyak 'istimewaannya', 
Tapi kita letakkanlah.. 'ketaatanku pada suamiku adalah kerana untuk mencari keredhaan Allah s.w.t.'. Sebagai laluan, peluang kita. Soal siapa suami tu nanti dulu. Kena jelas, "Saya mentaati suami saya bukan kerana apa-apa, kecuali kerana mengharapkan keredhaan Allah semata-mata.

Pada suatu hari seorang wanita bernama Zainab yang bergelar Khatibatin-nisa’ telah menemui Rasulullah SAW lalu berkata: "Aku telah diutus oleh kaum wanita untuk bertanya kepada mu. Sesungguhnya mereka mengeluh, bilamana seorang lelaki dikurniakan Allah untuk pergi berjihad,  pahalanya sungguh banyak sekali. Bilamana terkorban, mati syahid. Bagaimanakah pula dengan kami yang ingin juga mendapat kurniaan sebegitu besar?" Jawab Baginda Nabi saw, "Sampaikan ini kepada kaum wanita yg bertanya. Taatlah pada suami mu, dan iktiraflah hak yang ada pada suami mu, sesungguhnya pahalanya bersamaan dengan pahala jihad di jalan Allah. Akan tetapi, sangat sedikit mereka yang dapat melakukannya." (HR Al-Bazzar dan Ath-Thabrani)

- Taken and editted from kuliah Ustazah Norhafizah

Note : Atas rahmat Allah, sungguh banyak rahmat kasih sayang yang Allah tumpahkan pada suami isteri. 
Firman-Nya yang bermaksud, "Dan di antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaan-Nya dan rahmat-Nya, bahawa Dia menciptakan untuk kamu (wahai kaum lelaki) isteri-isteri dari jenis kamu sendiri, supaya kamu bersenang hati dan hidup mesra dengannya, dan dijadikan-Nya di antara kamu (suami isteri) perasaan kasih sayang dan belas kasihan. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda-tanda bagi kaum yang berfikir." 
(Surah al-Ruum, ayat 21).

Walaupun kadang-kadang geram macam mana pun, perasaan kasih dan sayang tu sentiasa melimpah ruah.
Jadikan ia senjata untuk kita jihad TAAT ini.
Jadikanlah diri kita, dan anak-anak perempuan kita, khazanah terbaik atas muka bumi, bukan pada pandangan suami, tetapi pada pandangan Allah!

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