Subhanallah.. a super must read!

Alhamdulillah Allah moved my heart to bring adik-adik to Alamanda yesterday, a must stop would be MPH, and upon browsing books, my eyes came across a book by Ustazah Norhafizah Musa. Immediately I smiled, knowing this, is an investment I would not regret. Even though I love books like children love chocolates, countless episodes of book buying have left me more cautious. I would usually pick at least 5 books, and after some filtering, buy one or two, or none at all. Apa taknya, there's a whole shelf of unread books waiting at home! But a book by this author, although wrapped, is one book I am so certain I would enjoy. 

Subhanallah, the first chapter itself left me sobbing with every line. Terbayang-bayang muka jernih anak tengah pandang penuh harapan, seolah-olah sedang berkata, sedarlah ummi, selamatkanlah Airin. I cried in hope, in relief, in repentance (keinsafan).  Perhaps its because I know how sincere she would sound in her ceramah, perhaps because of the preganancy hormones. 

One thing for sure, I felt so strongly it is something every mother, regardless of whether she wears tudung labuh or tudung singkat, felt, but didn't realise she has it in her. To quote, "Saya amat meyakini bahawa setiap ibu bapa mahukan anak-anaknya menjadi soleh walaupun sekali pandang, mungkin kehidupan ibu bapa itu sendiri jauh drpd panduan hidup al-Quran dan as-Sunnah. Tetapi.. takkanlah seorang ibu dan ayah ingin mewariskan keburukan dan kejahilan mereka kepada anak-anak." Apatah lagi kita, yang Allah dah bagi nikmat hidayah untuk sedar dan mahu sangat anak-anak terlepas dari gangguan dunia yang maha dasyat. Cuma manusia senang sangat alpa, dan hilang semangat. It is with this kind of reminder, that can help us enhance that semangat which comes with a mother's natural love. And trust me, I have read quite a number, yet this is the best so far. So much so I feel I couldn't waste another minute not sharing it even though I have yet to finish it. A definite must read as our bekalan, and penguat semangat.

Priced at only RM 23, and with discounts if you purchase it here http://bukuonline2u.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=603, I hope you can find it at any MPH. One thing though : try to read it immediately. Its' small size, simple and easy on the eyes layout, and meaningful words is most effective if you read it with belief, a want to be a better mother, and a pouring love for your dear child.

Sidenote : If you have seen her before, or can see clearly Ustazah Norhafizah on the cover or heard her talk, can you believe she is actually a mother of 7 children?! MasyaAllah, she is definitely someone I wish I have the privilege to be a student to, one day. Amin.

Future Plans

Alhamdulillah, syukur ya Allah, the days I longed for finally arrived. 

Please help me reach my goals and dreams.

Yesterday was another ordeal passed. Almost over yet I still cant let go of the last breath of relief.

Finally finished with the correction, I had to yet again trouble DH and we went to menghadap Dr Iis and sent the thesis off to IfLA for proof reading. A whole tiring and painful day but alhamdulillah. Will take a minimum of 3 weeks to get it back, making me worry about the due date of the senate meeting but apparently there is nothing I can do about it, can't waste (negative) energy there. Just like I should not waste energy thinking why I have to do proof read. A slap in the face really but.. I'm humbled over. All I can do is do'a murah rezeki for everything to be just in time.

I'm not interested in mulling over it anymore. Not when there's a new worry to handle.

With masters out of the *house*, hanging over like a cloud over the ceiling, I have no more excuse for my lack of responsibility. No more not cooking every meal with care and being loose on the housechores. No more reason not to be a super ummi! More importantly, no more reason for wasting precious time with the lil girl we so dearly love, so grown up now, like a sponge thirsty for knowledge! 

There's so much a mother could do (it should be - there's so much a mother SHOULD do - but a working mother often forgets that). I know I got this from all those mummy blogs, which, is not all good, looking at people obsessing over their child's huruf hijriah, hafazan, counting at young age, crafting, makes one feel so inadequate. I guess at the end of the day, like what Pn Lina said.. a mother has to have a vision. Of what she wants to see her child as when they (individually) grow up. When we have a goal, we can plan the path and action towards that niat, and that, accompanied with tons and tons of do'a and self-improvement, has to be our strongest weapon. 

For sure every mother wants good things of their child. Surprisingly, each mother differs, for all sorts of logical reasons and life experiences. Whilst some wants her child to be someone who plays a part in changing the world, some wants her child to be someone simply known to the world. Between the two extremes, lies many more wishes of mothers if they care enough to think.

But I have faith a mother's clear and persistent dream for a child plays a very important berkat in how a child will turn out to be. With everything so worrying around us now, this theory has got to work. Its a faith I have to hold on to. Perhaps that determines how 'safe' a teenager is when they reach that danger time.

So be precise with your prayers. Close your eyes a few seconds every day, and try to picture your beloved 2 year-old in 15 years time (a person at 17 ish - one's hardest and craziest moments) and pray real hard it hurts in your heart that is how she will turn out to be. InsyaAllah, kesungguhan doa ibu tu sangat mustajab. If you want, you can try to picture something you never, ever, want her to be, shudder, for that fear is also a very powerful drive.

There are parents who wants her child to be pandai, the best in what she can be, a debater, president of clubs, a doctor perhaps, successful career women, all the while forgetting that being pandai can go really wrong if the real matlamat hidup is not successfully instilled first.

And as we know, prayers without action is ber angan. If we want it bad enough we will try our best. A constant reminder should be of how we cannot turn back time. Like an ustaz said, every road has a U-turn, but not your child's life. Kalau tertinggal anak kat kedai, boleh patah balik ambil, tapi kalau tertinggal mendidik anak, tak bagi pegangan agama, akhlak, dlm kesibukan seharian masa dia kecil, there's no way we can patah balik and give it to him when he is all grown up. An ustazah I so admire, Ustazah Norhafizah Musa at IKIM once said, amongst her many pearls of wisdom, one thing she envies most are mothers with young children, for they have the opportunity no other mothers have.. to nurture a child. I was surprise to hear it coming from her, you would too if you know her, for every sentence from her are like food to the soul, like cold water washing your heart, touching my heart at places as tears flow free. And yet even she too, envies us for the chance we have now! Subhanallah..

And so my big purpose of writing this is to list down my action plan. I am still working on this image I have of little Airin in her teens, since I hope its not too unfortunate that I don't dream big for her worldly success. Hopefully its okay for anak perempuan, anak lelaki would have different kinds of responsibilities.

Besides all this action plan, for it to become a reality we need help from people in all angle. I am sure we all have seen or heard instances where a teacher creates a big impact on a child's life, or a friend even. Hence lets all remind ourselves to give help to people we met in our lives, anyone, especially our old and getting forgotten parents, siblings with all their heartaches we wish we don't have to play a part of, students, a friend's child, strangers. For who knows one day our ikhlas deeds be repaid by Allah through people who come across our children's life. We've heard of how a teacher significantly helped a student in a  class but not our child, a classmate. 
And lets never forget that anak derhaka will be paid di dunia lagi, with anak derhaka too, so take very good care of your parents feelings. How much we love, treasure, and think of that special bond we have with our child now, believe it or not that is exactly how they too felt with us as their babies not so long ago. Our child is our priority, but it might backfire if we make it our only priority.

My action plan:

1. We bought huruf hijriyah flashcard at Lina Karim's kursus we went to on Airin's birthday (this deserve an entry on its own, but for now I will be listing some of the techniques she uses) - 3 sets - and will be doing this with her as often as I can. Nak tampal some around the house too! And on fridge doors. And have to prepare chocalates  as upah.

2. Pasang CD adik soud juz amma almost all the time in the living room TV as she plays around in the living room. If buying a radio helps we have to buy it too tau! ;) For the kitchen. Its so true when she said if we play it only once a day, =300 times a year, in 3 years he would have heard it at least 1000 times, and that's powerful subconscious mind work!

3. Wrap the story book we bought at the kursus before reading it to her since she loves to hear stories - must instill love for books! And babies/kids first love is usually animals, so animal stories are a good start. Its good to instill fondness for animals I think, as it teaches kids to be lovable and caring from young.

4. Wishing to buy her water color, crayon, color pencil set and artblock for her to get creative, and a way to spend quality time with her. There are benefits in all these but I am short of time to write it down. Do google them if you wish to know. Most importantly, we as mother must never ever stop cari ilmu, in our pursuit to be hopefully, a mother our child will love and be proud of.

5. On my part, I have to start reading this book - a very famous one : Pendidikan Anak-anak Dalam Islam - supposedly the only manual used by parents of adik Muhammad. I bought when I was pregnant with Airin 2 years ago! A promise I had made to myself, once I am done with masters responsibility. Now my most important master class starts - tarbiyatul aulad!

I also want to finish this other book which I think is really good - Ajarkan Buah Hati Mencintai Nabi. Even the first few pages were entrancing, the writer really have a way with words, my hearts shivers as I read it.. something I experience very rarely these days as I read through various books. Will share it if it is! 
And then, this interesting history book, as recommended by Pn Lina Karim, to compare how 3 individuals, all with Agama background, didik their children until they grow up to be such different people! Imam Syafie, Sultan Muhammad Fateh, and Mustafa Kamal Attaturk. DH is going to read one and we'll swap stories! Ehem, tu lah cita2nya.

Moving alongside all these is niat to upgrade my ibadat wajib, increase ibadat sunat, and learn about healthy cooking! Banyak tu.. insyaAllah my doa everyday is semoga Allah permudahkan.

You are two, sweetheart~!

In our happiness and syukur in celebrating our dear Airin's 2nd birthday yesterday, I found these words, something which I have to remind myself, so very often. 

Anak adalah nikmat terindah dan ujian fitnah. Kita mesti selalu ingat bahawa mereka adalah amanah. Di setiap kesenangan ada hisab menanti !

Kakak's First Amusement Part #2

Whilst I'm still in the mood of updating kakak's 'milestone', let's do this.

Hoping for it to be some kind of a beneficial  sharing, as I too, feel super happy when I find ideas on how to entertain our children from other generous bloggers. Coz admit it, as much as we love our children and they us, it can be quite a stress at home when they want our undivided attention every waking hour (and also suppose-to-be sleeping hour) when all we feel like doing is free our mind browsing the net for 20 minutes after that load of housework ;p 

Plus quality family time is crucial for us working mothers, no longer can we afford spending time with them simply by lying in the bed or watching (useless) TV programs. Kat bilik hotel blhla. They are growing up so fast, without these small bonding and learning efforts, sedar2 nanti everything they learn will be from their bibik/nanny/grandmother.

So today is about electronic media. Some time ago, without really thinking through, we introduced her to video clips of nursery rhymes. Downloaded it from You Tube and stick it to the TV. Both malay songs and english. Malay songs mcm Jong Jong Inai, cerita sang kancil, Alif Ba Ta and some indonesian-made nasyid songs. No surprise, when she know the power of choice, she prefers the english nursery rhymes, with its beautiful cartoons, catchy music and kids doing fun actions to imitate. Asyik 'ummi, wheel on bus?' je. To the extent of me being worried cause she prefers nursery rhymes over nasyid2 Alif Ba Ta tu! :(

But alhamdulillah to my pleasant surprise, I found this Alif Diatas Aaa nasyid series, (okaylah actually I found it, thought she'll be bored with it but DH saw it opened and downloaded it, so credit to him) and it turns out she loves it! She can listen to it for hours and dah pandai follow skit2. Weird coz she can even be bored with wheels on bus, but not an educational vid like this. 

I think its Malaysian made year 2000, which is weird coz the teacher is wearing tudung like in the 80's, or indonesian. Anyhow, thank you to whom ever who made these coz it made her interested in her alif ba ta again. Jazakallah. Balik je rumah, nampak TV, terus request Alif atas A. Siap ikut gaya lagi. I do think people has researched the psychology behind moving your heads so vigorously like in the vid coz as painful as it looks, it sure does entrance kids! LOL. Love these series. But I think its better if you can play it on a big screen like the TV so that your kids can see the other kids as if they are real!

On a side note, sekarang pergi bookshop takyah susah hati dah tengok video nasyid yg terjual tu.. pernah beli a few times but not as much loved as these..

Another surprising find is her attraction to this particular movie. Never one to be attracted to any cartoon before, leaving her unattended in front of a TV has never been an option for us. Memang dia takkan duduk sorang2 depan TV, or even with us watching with her, for more than 5 minutes.  I was glad, since we never want our household to be controlled  by TV. Baru pasang TV pun just bcoz I feel rugi we are missing some good shows on Al-Hijrah and Oasis. Ehem, channel lain kena catu ok! Anyway, the cartoons are not yet for her, maybe sebab dia tak faham lagi English language ;)

And so I was excited to watch this movie with her, and my guess is right! She got soo attentive. Maybe because there was a lot of yelling of 'Abii!', 'Umii'.. and she felt familiar. Anyhow, I am glad because there are movies like these to choose from.  It's true, we cannot run from entertainment for it is a need and too big an influence, hence it's a matter of choosing. Like Ustaz Hasrizal saifulislam.com said, we cannot enclose and protect our children from all the bad influences out there as they are bound to see it, rather, we teach them to make the right choices. And it's best if we can expose the beauty of the right kind  of entertainment before they become too fascinated with what we have around us now. The guide for the right kind of entertainment? Simply anything that can remind us and bring us closer to Allah, feel, and live in the beauty of Islam. Moreover as parents, our every action actually prints patterns on our child's pure white heart!  Astaghfirullah, help us Ya Allah!

So anyhow, it's an Indonesian movie about 2006's tsunami in Acheh. Cuma nya the downside is this story is kind of sad at some parts. Berkerut2 muka Kakak as she said 'hmm, ummi ye nangis'. Kesian and tak patut juga I felt, triggering her sad emotion like that. But there are a lot of good parts, solat dengan Ummi and kakak-kakak, dan hugging moments with her Ummi. A great watch for moms and daughters! :)

Hope this is a good share!

Kakak's First Amusement

As new parents we get easily excited over our every first, including (especially?) children's toys. Especially now since it is so attractively called 'play-learn' instead. Yeah, that's great marketing re-branding. As new parents we too feel like we have to give our child everything she deserve, and the problem comes in when we think that means she deserves everything other child deserves. Rows after rows of children toys giving headaches to eager first-time parents the moment the price tag come into view. Seriously, I have a friend who bought a mini kitchen set for RM600 at Mothercare. Yup, there is no end to it.

Alhamdulillah we solve that kind of early when kakak doesn't seem too interested with the toys the moment we bring it home. The relief is great, no longer I have to suffer from the guilt of not buying that Fisher Price Play Learn and this mini laptop and the oh-so-smart toys R us games. Nothing seem to hold her interest longer than 5 minutes, which is probably normal for a one year old. Which means she can't be left alone at home when we are around. Unless we play with her, no toys can seem to interest her enough. So senang, tak payah susah-susah beli ;p

Recently I thought of this something that she might like, as much as I do;p After searching high and low for this something, and almost spending too much for it, I excitedly brought it home. And pleasant surprisee, she played with it alone for more than 20 minutes! Talking to herself while she peel and paste, peel and paste with her nimble hands, not caring what her ummi and abi is doing like usual. Seriously, it's like a miracle, tak pernah she become so absrbed in any thing as much as these..

I'm sure you have seen various kinds of stickers, but the best type (or rather the only type) suitable for 2-year-olds are what is called pop-up/foam stickers like in the picture as their fingers can only peel these. Kalau yang nipis tu they'll get stressed because they can't peel it and end up we have to entertain their whine pulak. Bigger ones are better too because they are bound to stick it everywhere else as well and the bigger each sticker are the longer it can last. I bought animal pictures and she learnt the animal names faster than by pointing at picture books! Imagine your child sitting down on her own and talking quietly  to herself, 'rabbit', 'ephant', 'lion'. Aahhh heavenn. And suchh pride! When you realize your baby is big enough to play on her own. But now don't you go and grow up too fast ;p


And the best thing is, one album and 2 set of stickers is less than rm10. And the stickers are soooo cute!!
The problem is now how to control ummi's obsession for stickers ;) Asyik nak  pergi bookshop je and spend hours choosing stickers. Somebody is going to get scolded soon! ;p

First Picture : Wishlist

This has been on my wishlist ever since I saw it somewhere, early this year. Not one to obsess over handbags/bags, this has been my nearest to an obsession. And since I have been opening the website almost everyday to satisfy myself while waiting for it to be ready (I was promised 2 weeks), I thought why not  put it here to save me the trouble. And share the admiration!
By the way, since I am not really into denim, I have chosen curduroy in dark blue instead of denim (bottom pic : the cloth underneath), with the same patterned handle.
Don't you think it's going to look lovely?
Breathtaking kann?
I have great respect for the owner of Rozi Rahman, actually making me dwell over the possibility of me sewing - riighht - who am I kidding? I barely have the patience to neatly sew a button! All of my sewing projects in school was finished by mama.. lupa ke? huhu. Tak apa tak apa, I'm sure my talent is still deeply hidden somewhere, waiting to be discovered!

Bittersweet

I'm free.

No amount of writing can describe the 'weight' of those two words. The joy felt each time I close my eyes and simply roll the words over and over in my thoughts. The almost-disbelief. The pure bliss. The syukur mostly, praise be only to Allah, the most Loving and Compassionate. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah, I am nothing but your servant at Your mercy. Thank you for bestowing me this nikmat. Let this feeling remain with me, reminding me of the great gift You have given me and how I owe everything to You.

Sure, I still need to submit my final correction. Even though time is still not entirely mine to own, the suspense is almost over. It can no longer control me, and especially, stop me from giving my self to the two person who deserve it most. If I spend a few hours a day on it consistently, insyaAllah.. I am that close to reaching the end of the journey. The light at the end of the tunnel is right there infront of me, within reach.

I finally got myself back.

On the way back on probably the happiest day I would have in IIUM Gombak, I could not stop myself from remembering some anecdotes. Bittersweet. Perhaps bittersweet cannot really describe it, as its not really that bitter then. Tiring, yes, but rather I think I enjoyed most of it. Its just something I do not think I can  and want to go through again. The sleep at the beautiful IIUM masjid and taking bath at 5.30 in the morning alone at the masjid's toilet (I feel so blessed by that experience), the going up the long stairs of the mahallah and eating delicious bihun sup and enjoying single student life again, ALL the lab sessions while heavy with dear kakak, together with the tiring drive early morning and late evening at 8 months, the collecting of smelly eggshell, drying it on the ground, the ballmill wait, the carefully-planned timetable, the mould die lab, and my table in the hot lab with our pink fan, a cup of orange nescafe and  unforgettable plastic container of white HA powder. 

And ohh, the delicious shopping part infront of the bank - the usual treat after exams, and the most delicious nasi arab at Mamamia with its chilli sauce (as a hungry student). The walk around the square round and round and round, to and fro desperately in search for Celpad, PG office, library and chancellory. I amazingly never miss to correctly guess wrongly each time, cursing the absence of signboard. Those are all memories as precious as the scroll. The scroll being precious not for its title, but merely the pay increase.

What happened on the viva day however, was not as happy experience. But a great lesson I did learn, finally. I only have myself to blame, part of it. However in all, its a beautiful qadha' and qadr. Standing before the examiners at the start of the session, scared as I was, I repeatedly thought, I am fully at the mercy of Allah s.w.t. I do not depend on these people to pass, I depend on Allah solely. Whatever is going to happen, it is because Allah allows and wants It.. 
Alhamdulillah Allah made it possible!
For me to smile the real smile and feel the sand beneath my feet and smell the salty air!