Future Plans

Alhamdulillah, syukur ya Allah, the days I longed for finally arrived. 

Please help me reach my goals and dreams.

Yesterday was another ordeal passed. Almost over yet I still cant let go of the last breath of relief.

Finally finished with the correction, I had to yet again trouble DH and we went to menghadap Dr Iis and sent the thesis off to IfLA for proof reading. A whole tiring and painful day but alhamdulillah. Will take a minimum of 3 weeks to get it back, making me worry about the due date of the senate meeting but apparently there is nothing I can do about it, can't waste (negative) energy there. Just like I should not waste energy thinking why I have to do proof read. A slap in the face really but.. I'm humbled over. All I can do is do'a murah rezeki for everything to be just in time.

I'm not interested in mulling over it anymore. Not when there's a new worry to handle.

With masters out of the *house*, hanging over like a cloud over the ceiling, I have no more excuse for my lack of responsibility. No more not cooking every meal with care and being loose on the housechores. No more reason not to be a super ummi! More importantly, no more reason for wasting precious time with the lil girl we so dearly love, so grown up now, like a sponge thirsty for knowledge! 

There's so much a mother could do (it should be - there's so much a mother SHOULD do - but a working mother often forgets that). I know I got this from all those mummy blogs, which, is not all good, looking at people obsessing over their child's huruf hijriah, hafazan, counting at young age, crafting, makes one feel so inadequate. I guess at the end of the day, like what Pn Lina said.. a mother has to have a vision. Of what she wants to see her child as when they (individually) grow up. When we have a goal, we can plan the path and action towards that niat, and that, accompanied with tons and tons of do'a and self-improvement, has to be our strongest weapon. 

For sure every mother wants good things of their child. Surprisingly, each mother differs, for all sorts of logical reasons and life experiences. Whilst some wants her child to be someone who plays a part in changing the world, some wants her child to be someone simply known to the world. Between the two extremes, lies many more wishes of mothers if they care enough to think.

But I have faith a mother's clear and persistent dream for a child plays a very important berkat in how a child will turn out to be. With everything so worrying around us now, this theory has got to work. Its a faith I have to hold on to. Perhaps that determines how 'safe' a teenager is when they reach that danger time.

So be precise with your prayers. Close your eyes a few seconds every day, and try to picture your beloved 2 year-old in 15 years time (a person at 17 ish - one's hardest and craziest moments) and pray real hard it hurts in your heart that is how she will turn out to be. InsyaAllah, kesungguhan doa ibu tu sangat mustajab. If you want, you can try to picture something you never, ever, want her to be, shudder, for that fear is also a very powerful drive.

There are parents who wants her child to be pandai, the best in what she can be, a debater, president of clubs, a doctor perhaps, successful career women, all the while forgetting that being pandai can go really wrong if the real matlamat hidup is not successfully instilled first.

And as we know, prayers without action is ber angan. If we want it bad enough we will try our best. A constant reminder should be of how we cannot turn back time. Like an ustaz said, every road has a U-turn, but not your child's life. Kalau tertinggal anak kat kedai, boleh patah balik ambil, tapi kalau tertinggal mendidik anak, tak bagi pegangan agama, akhlak, dlm kesibukan seharian masa dia kecil, there's no way we can patah balik and give it to him when he is all grown up. An ustazah I so admire, Ustazah Norhafizah Musa at IKIM once said, amongst her many pearls of wisdom, one thing she envies most are mothers with young children, for they have the opportunity no other mothers have.. to nurture a child. I was surprise to hear it coming from her, you would too if you know her, for every sentence from her are like food to the soul, like cold water washing your heart, touching my heart at places as tears flow free. And yet even she too, envies us for the chance we have now! Subhanallah..

And so my big purpose of writing this is to list down my action plan. I am still working on this image I have of little Airin in her teens, since I hope its not too unfortunate that I don't dream big for her worldly success. Hopefully its okay for anak perempuan, anak lelaki would have different kinds of responsibilities.

Besides all this action plan, for it to become a reality we need help from people in all angle. I am sure we all have seen or heard instances where a teacher creates a big impact on a child's life, or a friend even. Hence lets all remind ourselves to give help to people we met in our lives, anyone, especially our old and getting forgotten parents, siblings with all their heartaches we wish we don't have to play a part of, students, a friend's child, strangers. For who knows one day our ikhlas deeds be repaid by Allah through people who come across our children's life. We've heard of how a teacher significantly helped a student in a  class but not our child, a classmate. 
And lets never forget that anak derhaka will be paid di dunia lagi, with anak derhaka too, so take very good care of your parents feelings. How much we love, treasure, and think of that special bond we have with our child now, believe it or not that is exactly how they too felt with us as their babies not so long ago. Our child is our priority, but it might backfire if we make it our only priority.

My action plan:

1. We bought huruf hijriyah flashcard at Lina Karim's kursus we went to on Airin's birthday (this deserve an entry on its own, but for now I will be listing some of the techniques she uses) - 3 sets - and will be doing this with her as often as I can. Nak tampal some around the house too! And on fridge doors. And have to prepare chocalates  as upah.

2. Pasang CD adik soud juz amma almost all the time in the living room TV as she plays around in the living room. If buying a radio helps we have to buy it too tau! ;) For the kitchen. Its so true when she said if we play it only once a day, =300 times a year, in 3 years he would have heard it at least 1000 times, and that's powerful subconscious mind work!

3. Wrap the story book we bought at the kursus before reading it to her since she loves to hear stories - must instill love for books! And babies/kids first love is usually animals, so animal stories are a good start. Its good to instill fondness for animals I think, as it teaches kids to be lovable and caring from young.

4. Wishing to buy her water color, crayon, color pencil set and artblock for her to get creative, and a way to spend quality time with her. There are benefits in all these but I am short of time to write it down. Do google them if you wish to know. Most importantly, we as mother must never ever stop cari ilmu, in our pursuit to be hopefully, a mother our child will love and be proud of.

5. On my part, I have to start reading this book - a very famous one : Pendidikan Anak-anak Dalam Islam - supposedly the only manual used by parents of adik Muhammad. I bought when I was pregnant with Airin 2 years ago! A promise I had made to myself, once I am done with masters responsibility. Now my most important master class starts - tarbiyatul aulad!

I also want to finish this other book which I think is really good - Ajarkan Buah Hati Mencintai Nabi. Even the first few pages were entrancing, the writer really have a way with words, my hearts shivers as I read it.. something I experience very rarely these days as I read through various books. Will share it if it is! 
And then, this interesting history book, as recommended by Pn Lina Karim, to compare how 3 individuals, all with Agama background, didik their children until they grow up to be such different people! Imam Syafie, Sultan Muhammad Fateh, and Mustafa Kamal Attaturk. DH is going to read one and we'll swap stories! Ehem, tu lah cita2nya.

Moving alongside all these is niat to upgrade my ibadat wajib, increase ibadat sunat, and learn about healthy cooking! Banyak tu.. insyaAllah my doa everyday is semoga Allah permudahkan.