Her Current Obsessions

How amusing it is to see which toys attract your child and which kind does not.. even more amusing when it is something so simple and cheap! Quite subjected to gender, girls are less likely to be attracted to uhh, cars and tricycles, and are more attracted to colourful playthings. These are some of the simple things yet are much loved by our then not-yet-2-year-old daughter, and now, at 2-years-2-months old.

1# Before two years old

Yup, its the small plastic storage drawers you can find in most supermarket, multipurpose, something I got as a gift. Looking for something for her to play with one day, I put that in front of her, together with some random objects, brooches and such. She called it rumah and was instantly hooked up with it. Pulling out the drawers, taking the stuff out, and pushing it back in. Then repeating the process on other drawers. Sometimes talking to herself. Totally fascinating to see her! Then we got the idea of putting IKEA hand puppets (10 cute animal puppets for RM20), one in each drawer and called it their rumah. Now, together with other small figurines/toys, it becomes a great toy storage as well, everything nicely sleeping inside, as she calls it, after every play session! Its amazing how something so simple and cheap can be something she enjoys so much. The drawer is priced at just RM 15 at Mydin. Of course, after a certain age limit/some time one gets bored of it :)

2# Two years until now 

PlayDoh! Hihi, this was the case of the Ummi yang tak sabar-sabar nak main. Obviously with the colourful, soft, and wonderfully smelling, soft dough, its a delight. And it comes with the small container, a very convenient storage. Unlike plasticine it does not stick to the hand and is much much easier to collect after playing. But being a 2-year-old, with limited motor skills, we need to play with her or she'll get frustrated sebab tak boleh buat objects sendiri. So after some thinking, I bought these cheap cookies cutter, and she happily plays on her own. Although she always say, "Ummi duduklah sini main", patting the space beside her. And she would continue with "Duduklah sini betul-betul" if I don't bersila next to her nicely. PlayDoh is priced at RM30 for 10 colours (like in the picture) at ToysRUs, and the cookie cutter at RM2.90 for 10 objects. And yeah its better to play on the small japanese/children table as it might stick and slightly stain tables and carpets. This is still her favourite - tiap tiap hari nak main!
p/s: Actually 'cookie cutter' is also sold (separately) with PlayDoh, but of course mahallah kan. Cookie cutter biasa ni can be found so easily at any bakery/supermarket, and the function is the same. Double satisfaction kalau can have fun without paying extravagantly for it kan! hihi.

3# Two years until now 

Eva puzzle mat. I suppose this is a common plaything for toddlers. At one point  (probably after I pester her with ABC) she seems bored of anything that resembles ABC. So I was really happy when she seems to love this mat! We bought it at Tesco at RM22 per set of 24 pieces. She had so much fun putting the letters in and out as well as us building 'houses' for her to go in, buat pintu tingkap semua. So much so we bought another set (tiba-tiba dah jadi RM27 kat Tesco, huhu, tension) so that we can build a bigger house! And she is suddenly interested in ABC again.

The thing is, it delights me to no end when she enjoys something because she has this whole big box of toys collected from birth yang dia lansung tak nak pandang dah! She has a real boleh duduk dalam car, tricycle (presents from others), teddy bears, miniature cars, masak-masak, banyak lagilah, things which doesn't seem to interest her much, if at all. Which is why I so appreciate the things she loves! I belief each child will have their favourite, but with simple and cheap things like these, less risk of wasting money! Plus the simple things are usually best loved because it allows more creativity to grow.

And I always belief the more we play with our child, the easier it will be to teach him/her. She will trust us not only as someone to go to for physical needs (like bathing and feeding time), but also as her main play companion (for now) and story teller (now and especially later), which means it will be easier to selit good messages, understanding of akidah, faith and belief. Starting with simple stories and doing more of conversing as she understands more, story sharing is the best method of bonding after nursing!

So any other good games and toys you enjoy with your child? Do share! 

P/s: One that does not involve expensive doll houses, barbie toys and expensive mini toy kitchen, huhu.

True!

A post on FB:

Saya sudah nampak sendiri di depan mata saya, bagaimana perangai kanak - kanak yang dibesarkan dengan kasih sayang sangat berbeza dengan perangai kanak - kanak yang dibesarkan dengan herdikan, ditakut-takutkan dan sering dimarah out of proportion. Sangat berbeza!

Wahai para isteri dan ibu, memang bukanlah mudah untuk mengubah the vicious cycle. Kalau sedari kecil kita dibiasakan dengan kemewahan dan dimanjakan, lalu selepas berkahwin kita hidup susah dan perlu buat sendiri semua perkara - inilah jihad terbesar kita, untuk mengubah cara hidup dan mengajar anak berdikari, jangan dimanjakan macam kita dulu. 

Kalau sedari kecil kita dibiasakan dengan dimarahi, dipukul dan ditakut-takutkan oleh ibu/bapa yang garang, lalu selepas berkahwin kita perlu mengajar anak dengan kelembutan dan kasih sayang yang mana kita sendiri tidak pernah merasainya - inilah perubahan terbesar yang kita perlu lakukan untuk stop the vicious cycle, memang sukar! 

Kita belajar untuk berkorban jiwa dan perasaan agar hasilnya dapat melahirkan anak - anak yang sihat fizikal, minda, emosi dan rohani. Itulah jihad seorang ibu...

Biarlah orang lain meremehkan usaha kita "eleh takkan itupun susah!", biarlah orang lain tak mengerti kesusahan kita untuk berubah. Yang penting, ALLAH yang Maha Mengetahui dan Dialah Sebaik - baik Pemerhati dan Penilai. Biarlah Allah yang menjadi saksi di atas usaha kita. Asalkan kita memang berusaha dengan IKHLAS dan tidak mengharapkan keredhaan sesiapapun ( walaupun suami sendiri ) kecualiNYA.

Found it! Ustazah Norhafizah's

Alhamdulillah, today I am blessed with this collection of talks by Ustazah Norhafizah Musa. I don't know why, but her voice and words brings me so much comfort and warmth. She's so gentle, motherly, full of wisdom, and did wonderful job of filling my empty heart. Maybe it's just me, but do try to download at least one file and listen to it! Maybe it can do wonders for you too. One thing for sure, it will blow fresh air into how we look at our family, giving meaning to the sacrifices (okay, too embarrassing to use the word sacrifices), rather, giving a meaning to what we meant to do everyday.

http://izuman18.blogspot.com/2012/02/ceramah-ustazah-norhafizah-musa.html 

Truly, it scares me sometimes when I realize the immense opportunities we have nowadays to be and do good. There is no excuse for not knowing things and be jahil anymore! As an international speaker once said, surely we in Malaysia CANNOT expect we will be given the same treatment or leniency by Allah when we are questioned on judgement day, for the things we did and things we did not. We have ustaz-ustazah people with ilmu, left and right, advising and pointing the obvious. Money and hardship is no longer a restriction, everything can be obtained free from the internet. Yup, one thing we also have are stronger forces of syaitan up down left and right.

Perhaps our only restriction is time. With so many duniawi things to do and kejar everyday, often it takes every ounce of strength to execute what our hearts know we should at the end of the day.

So many responsibilities and things to think about. So many sparkling and fascinating wonders dangling in front of us.

This is my theory - Perhaps every second spent on lagha/close to syubahah activity brings us further away from Allah's Ilmu, and Allah's redha. Not only it takes time away, the duniawi fun also closes our heart to the light of understanding Islam. 

Its like a child so use to hearing recitation of Quran (true story by Pn Lina Karim) hears the normal music we enjoy as noise, and another child brought up 'normally' in Malaysian household will one day say Quran recitation is boring.

We can try it. For one week, try to restrain yourself from the normal radio in the car, replacing it instead by Quran recitation, or even zikir or selawat CD such as these. 

It will be really hard at first, boring lah, mengantuk lah, but after a week you will feel the difference - dah tak rasa nak dengar the usual radio station! As in, tak dengar pun tak apa. Just make sure you don't turn off the CD when you switch off the engine so that the CD becomes the first thing you hear when you start the engine. Err, I hope it doesn't do too bad to the car.


Challenge yourself. And be strong to continue it. I know for some people it is easy, but it was not so for my berkarat heart, so use to thinking noise can give me joy and relieve stress kononnya, yet I know it is nothing but temporary. Indeed, in our hearts we know there is no better stress reliever than zikir and remembering Allah.

”(Iaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka manjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, Hanya dengan mengingati Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram.” (QS Ar Ra’d [13]: 28)

From there you can see how today's worldly influences affects our actions to do good. By forcing ourselves away from these tipudaya syaitan and zionist, trust me, lama-lama, kita sendiri akan rasa seronok baca buku agama, baca dan tadabbur al-Quran, rasa dapat kepuasan and ketenangan just by listening to zikir and tazkirah. How else do you think hafiz hafizah survive without music and entertainment? You dont see them dying of boredome any day ;p So..
No 1 - Move away from the disturbance
No 2 - Force onto yourself the good habits
Just a theory, a reminder to myself..

You can also obtain talks by Prof Muhaya (another gifted speaker!) and many others from that website. May Allah give rezeki to those involved in spreading good.

Tarbiyatul Aulad #1

Let's make this promise everyday.

Let's make it a point to learn something new about tarbiyatul aulad fil islam (pendidikan anak-anak dalam islam) each day!

Our children are growing up too fast, learning hundreds of things everyday, the fact is it is us who are catching up with them. How prepared are we as parents?

Found a good article from this blog too (thank you adik!). I'm sure we have all done it, eventho knowing we should not. This is where perhaps spouse have to help each other. Who says being a parent is easy :) But it's all worth it when we look at the face of our baby girl/boy kan?

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Konsisten

Konsisten ini sangat penting dalam modifikasi tingkahlaku. Nak buat peneguhan, dendaan, pelenyapan habit dan apa jua tingkahlaku baik yang kita nak wujudkan dalam diri manusia semua boleh guna teknik-teknik psikologi yang ada, tapi jika tak KONSISTEN (ISTIQAMAH) semua teknik pun takkan berjaya. Dalam mendidik anak-anak, displin yang konsisten memberikan mereka rasa perasaan selamat dan stabil. Inkonsistensi pula akan membuatkan anak-anak keliru dan dunia mereka jadi unpredictable.

Contoh tak konsisten yang sering dilakukan ibu bapa :

1) Cakap lain, buat lain- cth: “kalau tak makan sayur tak boleh main basikal”. Tapi bila kita rasa kesian, kita bagi jugak. Patut kena tegas dan konsisten.

2) Buat kenyataan yang kita tak maksudkan- cth: “kalau tak diam, abah berenti kereta, pi jalan kaki balik rumah!”- apa yang kita cakap biar kita benar-benar maksudkan, kalau tak anak tu buat main-main je nanti.

3) Penyataan yang berlebih-lebihan- cth: "tak kemas mainan, tak boleh tengok tv  sampai bila-bila" (err..logic ke cakap macamtu)

4) Ubah ‘tidak’ kepada ‘ya'- Ini terutamanya nak diamkan anak-anak yang menjerit-jerit kat kedai. Kalau kita tak mahu belikan mainan tu pada dia.. kena tegas, jangan lepas tu beli pula.

5) Tak check samada anak tu dah buat apa yang disuruh- cth: kita suruh dia kemas katil, terus check, dan lagi baik terus bagi peneguhan pada dia, cth cium atau peluk dia.. jangan tangguh-tangguh.. ini akan buat anak sentiasa ambil serius dengan arahan kita dan rasa dihargai

6) Incongruen/peraturan bercanggah- abah bagi makan askrim, ummi pula tak bagi.. mana satu ni? Patut pasangan kena sama-sama setuju pada satu-satu peraturan dan hormati, jangan remehkan peraturan yang ditetapkan pasangan anda kepada anak.

7) Tak maknakan sesuatu yang dikatakan - anak-anak ni menunggu je bila mak abah dia akan maknakan apa yang mereka kata. Cth : anak dia mencarut, “eippp, abah rotan kang” ..tapi tak buat-buat pun. Esok dia buat lagi.. abah dia cakap yang sama tapi tak buat pun.. jadi kita kena pastikan hukuman yang diperlukan (disini perlunya ilmu), dan bertegas.

8) Respon berbeza pada tingkahlaku yang sama- cth: adik sepahkan bilik, mak tak marah, kakak sepahkan bilik kena marah (ikut mood mak ketika itu, kalau rasa nak marah baru marah. Patut kena konsisten. Siapa pun sepahkan bilik kena marah)

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Let me urge you once more, let's get this book. I'm starting my reading today!

http://pustakaiman.blogspot.com/2010/07/dapatkan-buku-tarbiyatul-aulad-fil.html

Subhanallah.. a super must read!

Alhamdulillah Allah moved my heart to bring adik-adik to Alamanda yesterday, a must stop would be MPH, and upon browsing books, my eyes came across a book by Ustazah Norhafizah Musa. Immediately I smiled, knowing this, is an investment I would not regret. Even though I love books like children love chocolates, countless episodes of book buying have left me more cautious. I would usually pick at least 5 books, and after some filtering, buy one or two, or none at all. Apa taknya, there's a whole shelf of unread books waiting at home! But a book by this author, although wrapped, is one book I am so certain I would enjoy. 

Subhanallah, the first chapter itself left me sobbing with every line. Terbayang-bayang muka jernih anak tengah pandang penuh harapan, seolah-olah sedang berkata, sedarlah ummi, selamatkanlah Airin. I cried in hope, in relief, in repentance (keinsafan).  Perhaps its because I know how sincere she would sound in her ceramah, perhaps because of the preganancy hormones. 

One thing for sure, I felt so strongly it is something every mother, regardless of whether she wears tudung labuh or tudung singkat, felt, but didn't realise she has it in her. To quote, "Saya amat meyakini bahawa setiap ibu bapa mahukan anak-anaknya menjadi soleh walaupun sekali pandang, mungkin kehidupan ibu bapa itu sendiri jauh drpd panduan hidup al-Quran dan as-Sunnah. Tetapi.. takkanlah seorang ibu dan ayah ingin mewariskan keburukan dan kejahilan mereka kepada anak-anak." Apatah lagi kita, yang Allah dah bagi nikmat hidayah untuk sedar dan mahu sangat anak-anak terlepas dari gangguan dunia yang maha dasyat. Cuma manusia senang sangat alpa, dan hilang semangat. It is with this kind of reminder, that can help us enhance that semangat which comes with a mother's natural love. And trust me, I have read quite a number, yet this is the best so far. So much so I feel I couldn't waste another minute not sharing it even though I have yet to finish it. A definite must read as our bekalan, and penguat semangat.

Priced at only RM 23, and with discounts if you purchase it here http://bukuonline2u.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=603, I hope you can find it at any MPH. One thing though : try to read it immediately. Its' small size, simple and easy on the eyes layout, and meaningful words is most effective if you read it with belief, a want to be a better mother, and a pouring love for your dear child.

Sidenote : If you have seen her before, or can see clearly Ustazah Norhafizah on the cover or heard her talk, can you believe she is actually a mother of 7 children?! MasyaAllah, she is definitely someone I wish I have the privilege to be a student to, one day. Amin.

Future Plans

Alhamdulillah, syukur ya Allah, the days I longed for finally arrived. 

Please help me reach my goals and dreams.

Yesterday was another ordeal passed. Almost over yet I still cant let go of the last breath of relief.

Finally finished with the correction, I had to yet again trouble DH and we went to menghadap Dr Iis and sent the thesis off to IfLA for proof reading. A whole tiring and painful day but alhamdulillah. Will take a minimum of 3 weeks to get it back, making me worry about the due date of the senate meeting but apparently there is nothing I can do about it, can't waste (negative) energy there. Just like I should not waste energy thinking why I have to do proof read. A slap in the face really but.. I'm humbled over. All I can do is do'a murah rezeki for everything to be just in time.

I'm not interested in mulling over it anymore. Not when there's a new worry to handle.

With masters out of the *house*, hanging over like a cloud over the ceiling, I have no more excuse for my lack of responsibility. No more not cooking every meal with care and being loose on the housechores. No more reason not to be a super ummi! More importantly, no more reason for wasting precious time with the lil girl we so dearly love, so grown up now, like a sponge thirsty for knowledge! 

There's so much a mother could do (it should be - there's so much a mother SHOULD do - but a working mother often forgets that). I know I got this from all those mummy blogs, which, is not all good, looking at people obsessing over their child's huruf hijriah, hafazan, counting at young age, crafting, makes one feel so inadequate. I guess at the end of the day, like what Pn Lina said.. a mother has to have a vision. Of what she wants to see her child as when they (individually) grow up. When we have a goal, we can plan the path and action towards that niat, and that, accompanied with tons and tons of do'a and self-improvement, has to be our strongest weapon. 

For sure every mother wants good things of their child. Surprisingly, each mother differs, for all sorts of logical reasons and life experiences. Whilst some wants her child to be someone who plays a part in changing the world, some wants her child to be someone simply known to the world. Between the two extremes, lies many more wishes of mothers if they care enough to think.

But I have faith a mother's clear and persistent dream for a child plays a very important berkat in how a child will turn out to be. With everything so worrying around us now, this theory has got to work. Its a faith I have to hold on to. Perhaps that determines how 'safe' a teenager is when they reach that danger time.

So be precise with your prayers. Close your eyes a few seconds every day, and try to picture your beloved 2 year-old in 15 years time (a person at 17 ish - one's hardest and craziest moments) and pray real hard it hurts in your heart that is how she will turn out to be. InsyaAllah, kesungguhan doa ibu tu sangat mustajab. If you want, you can try to picture something you never, ever, want her to be, shudder, for that fear is also a very powerful drive.

There are parents who wants her child to be pandai, the best in what she can be, a debater, president of clubs, a doctor perhaps, successful career women, all the while forgetting that being pandai can go really wrong if the real matlamat hidup is not successfully instilled first.

And as we know, prayers without action is ber angan. If we want it bad enough we will try our best. A constant reminder should be of how we cannot turn back time. Like an ustaz said, every road has a U-turn, but not your child's life. Kalau tertinggal anak kat kedai, boleh patah balik ambil, tapi kalau tertinggal mendidik anak, tak bagi pegangan agama, akhlak, dlm kesibukan seharian masa dia kecil, there's no way we can patah balik and give it to him when he is all grown up. An ustazah I so admire, Ustazah Norhafizah Musa at IKIM once said, amongst her many pearls of wisdom, one thing she envies most are mothers with young children, for they have the opportunity no other mothers have.. to nurture a child. I was surprise to hear it coming from her, you would too if you know her, for every sentence from her are like food to the soul, like cold water washing your heart, touching my heart at places as tears flow free. And yet even she too, envies us for the chance we have now! Subhanallah..

And so my big purpose of writing this is to list down my action plan. I am still working on this image I have of little Airin in her teens, since I hope its not too unfortunate that I don't dream big for her worldly success. Hopefully its okay for anak perempuan, anak lelaki would have different kinds of responsibilities.

Besides all this action plan, for it to become a reality we need help from people in all angle. I am sure we all have seen or heard instances where a teacher creates a big impact on a child's life, or a friend even. Hence lets all remind ourselves to give help to people we met in our lives, anyone, especially our old and getting forgotten parents, siblings with all their heartaches we wish we don't have to play a part of, students, a friend's child, strangers. For who knows one day our ikhlas deeds be repaid by Allah through people who come across our children's life. We've heard of how a teacher significantly helped a student in a  class but not our child, a classmate. 
And lets never forget that anak derhaka will be paid di dunia lagi, with anak derhaka too, so take very good care of your parents feelings. How much we love, treasure, and think of that special bond we have with our child now, believe it or not that is exactly how they too felt with us as their babies not so long ago. Our child is our priority, but it might backfire if we make it our only priority.

My action plan:

1. We bought huruf hijriyah flashcard at Lina Karim's kursus we went to on Airin's birthday (this deserve an entry on its own, but for now I will be listing some of the techniques she uses) - 3 sets - and will be doing this with her as often as I can. Nak tampal some around the house too! And on fridge doors. And have to prepare chocalates  as upah.

2. Pasang CD adik soud juz amma almost all the time in the living room TV as she plays around in the living room. If buying a radio helps we have to buy it too tau! ;) For the kitchen. Its so true when she said if we play it only once a day, =300 times a year, in 3 years he would have heard it at least 1000 times, and that's powerful subconscious mind work!

3. Wrap the story book we bought at the kursus before reading it to her since she loves to hear stories - must instill love for books! And babies/kids first love is usually animals, so animal stories are a good start. Its good to instill fondness for animals I think, as it teaches kids to be lovable and caring from young.

4. Wishing to buy her water color, crayon, color pencil set and artblock for her to get creative, and a way to spend quality time with her. There are benefits in all these but I am short of time to write it down. Do google them if you wish to know. Most importantly, we as mother must never ever stop cari ilmu, in our pursuit to be hopefully, a mother our child will love and be proud of.

5. On my part, I have to start reading this book - a very famous one : Pendidikan Anak-anak Dalam Islam - supposedly the only manual used by parents of adik Muhammad. I bought when I was pregnant with Airin 2 years ago! A promise I had made to myself, once I am done with masters responsibility. Now my most important master class starts - tarbiyatul aulad!

I also want to finish this other book which I think is really good - Ajarkan Buah Hati Mencintai Nabi. Even the first few pages were entrancing, the writer really have a way with words, my hearts shivers as I read it.. something I experience very rarely these days as I read through various books. Will share it if it is! 
And then, this interesting history book, as recommended by Pn Lina Karim, to compare how 3 individuals, all with Agama background, didik their children until they grow up to be such different people! Imam Syafie, Sultan Muhammad Fateh, and Mustafa Kamal Attaturk. DH is going to read one and we'll swap stories! Ehem, tu lah cita2nya.

Moving alongside all these is niat to upgrade my ibadat wajib, increase ibadat sunat, and learn about healthy cooking! Banyak tu.. insyaAllah my doa everyday is semoga Allah permudahkan.

You are two, sweetheart~!

In our happiness and syukur in celebrating our dear Airin's 2nd birthday yesterday, I found these words, something which I have to remind myself, so very often. 

Anak adalah nikmat terindah dan ujian fitnah. Kita mesti selalu ingat bahawa mereka adalah amanah. Di setiap kesenangan ada hisab menanti !